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1988
Arcade: Platform
£8.95
English
ZX Spectrum 48K/128K
Multiple schemes (see individual downloads)

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84
David McCandless
Chris Bourne

Traffic wardens are not renowned for their sympathetic , affectionate view of life, nor gfor their compassionate attitude towards hairy lorry drivers with tatoos on their arms; so this is probably why Grand Slam decided to name the traffic warden in it's latest release Chubby Gristle. (Obviously a reference to the typecast view of blubbery wardens with the personality of an onion and physical attributes of a cardboard box! But despite the inventiveness of the title, the game falls short by several light years in originality, brilliance and general appeal.

Skimming over the surface of this game, you'll discover that what you have is nothing more than another platform game. A wandering succession of gruesomely-coloured screens populated by such things as scissors and amorphous anteaters - the usual platform cliches. Of course, you also have your little flashing objects which you must collect by manoeuvring your plump form between two colliding saucepans. Hazards include water, lava and something hot and aqueous, which drops onto yellow concrete, as well as one-way moving ladders - all very rudimentary.

Your character is a small, rotund person who moves quite smoothly and responsively. The action is placid. Sounds are restricted to beepy leaping trills and doleful beepy death noises, all pretty antiquated and very... well, beepy.

The game is essentially Auf Wiedersehen Monty with the setting, purpose and attractiveness of the Gremlin game replaced by blunt screen design, reiterated plot and languid gameplay.

An arid game: dried-up gameplay, desiccated graphics, not one to quench your addictive thirsts.

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