Ever wondered why Dad takes the dog for a walk whenever Mum mentions decorating? It's 'cos people hate decorating with a passion beyond all bounds. But now, at last, Alpha Omega has come up with the perfect antidote to Dekorating Blues. If you want your room done out just threaten Dad with having to play this game and he'll move so quick Granny'll be pasted to the wall in the rush.
This mega-cheapo maze game is tackier than the tackiest wallpaper paste. Its main distinguishing feature, like The Hundred Years War, is that it's very long. In theory there are one hundred and one screens but not even your intrepid reporter could fight his way through that lot. Basically the scenario is that Walter Wall has to decorate a 101 storey house while Matt Gloss does his best to sabotage your efforts.
Disguised as a paint brush (!), you have to whizz round a load of corridors. Trouble is you've got the turning circle of a beached whale so don't get too excited. Murderous mutants will either mash you up or worse, lick up your paint (bleeurgh!). But at least you can spill paste in their path and bring them to a (momentary) sticky end. And luckily enough you don't have to paint a whole floor before you're zapped to the next screen.
On-screen info tells you your score, time (counting down from fifty seconds), lives (ten), and how much paint and paste you have left The graphics are dismal - splodges chase round dots, attribute problems abound, it takes forever to load and has music and voice-overs of such clarity they make the British Rail tannoy sound like a Bang and Olufsen system.
If your idea of decorating is the interminable painting of the Firth of Forth Bridge then you'll be panting to get after this. Otherwise, forget it.