My knowledge of Spanish is rudimentary to say the least, so I'm afraid I'm unable to translate 'Mega Sports' into English for you. (Our JD, eh? He's a card and no mistake. Why, in a recent poll of Most Card-Like Shed Crew Members, he came top by miles. We love him through and through. Ed) But seeing as how this is Olympic Games time, and this compilation is presumably some sort of unofficial tie-in, the name probably means something romantic like 'Flaming Torch' or 'The Five Rings'. I hope so, don't you? Fab name aside, the actual games are old Epyx titles. Remember? - the ones where you get loads of little subgames (or 'events'), and invite your chums round to stage championships.
Not a promising start. This was, I think, the first Epyx sporty thang, and it's showing its age. Diving and pole vaulting are amongst the dubious highlights. Erm, make that diving, pole vaulting and loading up something far more interesting.
Summer Games 2
Like this. Summer Games 2 is a distinct improvement, with events like horse riding and the triple jump displaying a much better grasp of those essentials like graphics and gameplay.
The Games - Summer Edition
Definitely getting there - quite a few of the events are rather good fun. Best of all is diving, which is chock full of silly moves. Now you too can be like that Greg Lake (or whoever) - you know, the one who slipped off the board and clonked his head, and won a medal for it.
Not only does this one actually look quite nice (all snowy and picturesque) but it's got the weirdest event ever - the Biathlon is a combination of skiing and shooting! Whatever will they think of next, eh? How about the Poodlematic - a combination of walking the dog and doing the washing at an ultra-low temperature but still removing those embarrassing stains? Perhaps not.
The Games - Winter Edition
The compilation takes a dramatic downturn with a ridiculous luge event, hopeless figure skating, and... no, you don't want to know. Believe me. Ifs simply too ghastly for words.
I never liked this sort of thing much, and multi-loading all these events in one after the other (there are thirty of the blessed things altogether) really brought home how flimsy most of them are. But get a few pals in on the action and you might discover a competitive streak you never knew existed!
Another daring stunt from the hit film The Amazing (But Mostly Ridiculously Improbable) Adventures Of Captain Femur Roominghouse and His Stupendous Seven.
Bicycles, eh? What wonderful inventions and no mistake. Did you know that the first bicycles were made of porcelain and had no wheels? It's true.
Tragically, Dennis's revolutionary helicopter boots failed the most elementary of safety tests.
If you look very closely at the top of the mountain on the right, you can see Sir Edmund Hilary and Sherpa Tenzing and Lucinda the dancing poppy.