The British-born goal ace topping the Superleague's scoring charts has walked out on Juventus.
Terry Pratt (affectionately dubbed El Tel by unimaginative Italian soccer fans) has quit soccer, blaming the boredom of playing Gremlin's latest, Footballer of the Year.
It's, sort of, Football Manager only from the footballer's point of view (rather than the managers, as with Addictive's long-time best seller).
The snag is Footballer of the Year is sadly a minor-league game, lacking originality, playing skill and (most importantly) realism.
There's not even enough to the game to even let it succeed as an automatic soccer result and statistics generator.
Quickly then, you become a footballer with a team in one of five divisions.
Choose a division, team and nationality and the game is in motion. You are told of forthcoming fixtures and choose which to play your goal-cards in - only it really makes little difference.
Goal-cards have a value of one to three and represent scoring opportunities - penalties or shots - for your player. The computer then lets you play through those opportunities on a pitch with a goal.
Most of the time it's pretty well a two-in-three chance you'll score.
No skill, OK but how did your rivals get on? Are you topping the score charts in your division? What did the local press make of your debut?
There's no way of knowing.
So... do you want to buy more goal cards? No. Do you want to play a goal card in the next game? Yes... and round again.
And how about El Tel's career? He joined Peterborough on a paltry £75 a week, scored 29 goals to help them to the top of Division IV and was transferred to Swansea (very much against his wishes).
Still, a hatfull of goals for Swansea in the last five games of the season took them from 17th in the table to the championship - no mean feat.
Bored with life in Division III, El Tel started again playing for Juventus in the Super League. Thirty goals in 25 games meant there would probably have been no room for Ian Rush next season but, although Juventus were top of the table, our hero was still on £75 a week, still rated 'average' and only making ends meet through a succession of gambling triumphs outside of soccer.
Label: Gremlin Graphics
Author: including Greg Holmes and Christian Shrigley
Reviewer: Terry Pratt
Fails miserably. "Disappointing eh Greavsie?"" "What can I say Saint. They've let themselves down badly"