It's close to midnight and the shivers are running up and down my spine - which wouldn't be so bad only they're wearing spiked running shoes!
The reason for my terrible state is that the living dead are out to get me and I don't mean the staff of YS - they're just brain dead! Instead we're talking about tho abduction of my beloved (not Gwyn - you're welcome to him) by a gargoyle, and if that leaves a nasty taste in your mouth then gargoyle with antiseptic.
Being a noble noble it's all in a knight's work to nobble the forces of evil instead of snaring another bird. So hi-ho, hi-ho, it's gravely to the cemetery we go, where all manner of unmannerly man-monsters are massing for a massacre. It's a clear case of never mind the warlocks, here's the six six six pistols.
When you face these felons you must be feline happy because you get nine lives, that're effectively doubled because when you're first grazed by a whisker you leap out of your armour but not your skin. Be glad the Spectrum isn't hi-res when you run around in your undies or everybody would be able to see if you're wearing clean combies!
If the ghouls grab you, the raven swoops down or the punk plants gob on you in this state of undress you're a gonner, taking the Z(ombie)-Plan diet and becoming a bag of bones in a trice. It's also back to the start of the section, so watch it!
After you've conquered another gargoyle (it'll take several hits) you're in for a little island hopping on a moving island before you're ready to face the frights of the second sector. How I wish I could report on these terrors but I'm still battling the guardian of the gates. Apparently next up are lifts and the game goes platform, so look before you leap because the sky is alive with the sound of monsters.
This is another superb arcade conversion from Elite who's really doing great things in this field - or should that be graveyard? It's very difficult, but also highly addictive. There are slight graphics problems with a little flicker in the graveyard and sometimes the sprite collisions aren't as accurate as they might be - though as this is in your favour I wouldn't complain.
Your monochromatic noble is also indistinct at times when he's against a dark background but at least there are no attribute clashes to brighten the sombre mood and if the front end seems bare as bones that's surely because the memory is all used up for gameplay.
In short, play Ghosts 'n' Goblins and you'll be grabbed by the ghoulies. And as a non-sexist note for that half of the population without ghoulies, don't worry - it'll give you the willies!
Early in the quest and your knight's snug as a sardine in his tin suit.
Hurdling the headstones is a grave concern if you land on an emerging ghoul. To avoid zombies up your jacksie, try to hit the top then look before you leap.
What's cooking? Kill the creepies who carry cauldrons and you get a chance to change weapons for muchos points.
It's an ice cream cone... no, a flaming torch - probably the least useful of the three weapons thought you can toss them off the top of gravestones. Still, I prefer six inches of steel any day.
The unhappy birthday suit leaves our hero vulnerable to any violence. But just look at the detail in that figure - such a magnificent... physique!
Quoth the raven 'One go more'. You'll be ravin' if this carrion bird carries you to your death so prepare to fire before it swoops down.
No so much a snap dragon as a spit dragon. Goodness gracious, great balls of fire, so weed it out before it cremates you.
Don't just drop down from that top level. Another crow lurks on this grave and it'll come after you so keep an eye on your rear view mirror.
Not a spitoon for the gobbing gladioli but a useful source of bonus points so you'd be potty if you neglected these.