Flicking through the Daily Crucible one morning, I learn all about 'Vicar's steamy nights of passion with Busty Betty, a crucifix and a sacrificial goat' (are you sure this is in the scenario? Ed). But my favourite section is the competition page - solve the clues to discover the secret location of the prize: a priceless amulet. This is hidden inside a bank vault in a mystery town.
As I'm cleverer than your average Crucible reader (I've got an IQ of six!), I quickly realise that I must travel. to a checkpoint in the Yorkshire hamlet of Shoreham. Arriving here, I am greeted by a newspaper reporter - I can tell he's a journalist by his immense beer belly. He takes me across a fast flowing river and into town. According to him I must somehow discover the four digit code to open the Safe deposit box in which the amulet is hidden.
Exploring the town, I discover locations ranging from a football ground to a building site where the 'workers' sit around, smoking all day. There's also a TV rental shop, containing a teletext TV which I can use to call up articles, puzzles and quizzes! Although the town isn't that large, finding the four digits represents a major challenge - the cryptic clues are very obscure. And even when the digits are found, the correct permutation must be discovered to get the amulet. Even then, a boat must be built to return to the checkpoint!
Who wants to live forever?
I can't say I'm surprised to discover that Immortality Rules OK! is around three years old, having been recently 'unearthed ' by the author. Despite a large vocabulary of over 500 words, the Quill parser limits input to mainly verb/noun and prevents any real character interaction. While the problems encountered can be solved in almost any order, the solutions are painfully obscure and hardly logical - it's just as well that the author runs a free Helpline service. On the good side, the numerous pictures are fine and the text often witty. A blank map is also included in the packaging, but with only 40 locations to explore, it is soon filled in.
Immortality Rules OK! Is available from Robert Burgess at 1 Middlefield Rd, Rotherham, South Yorkshire, S60 3JH.