EVERYTHING'S EITHER DRIVING OR FOOTBALL THIS MONTH, ISN'T IT, VIEWERS? THIS TIME MARK CASWELL TAKES TO THE ROAD IN A SMART, FAST CAR TO SMASH A DRUGS RING (FUNNY FOR A FOOTBALL GAME, BUT THERE YOU HAVE IT!)
The drug lords are expanding their empire to include five major cities so it's time to call in Crockett and Tubbs. Erm, no. Hang on, this isn't Miami Vice, it's Miami Chase (I'm a silly sausage, aren't I).
Cue the arrival of Lieutenant Ferrari, an undercover Drug Enforcement Agency operative with a very fast Ferrari F-40. The game starts with an APB being called on a pusher called Diago 'The Jackal' Angelo. Leap into your dream machine and burn some rubber (vroom, vroom).
The action viewed from above so all you can see of your car and the computer-controlled traffic is the top of the roof, bonnet and boot. In order to get Angelo, you first have to apprehend several of his gang members, who all drive red cars (colour-coordinated hoodlums, how sweet! - Sub Ed). This is achieved by either ramming into them or shooting them.
When they explode, villains' cars often leave useful items behind: these include a turbo charger, wheel blades, oil cannon and more.
But time is very short. A timer counts down from 499 and should you fail to catch Angelo and his gang within the time limit you lose a life. An added annoyance are the police cars that chase you around. They don't arrest you but you lose a precious few seconds when they stop you for questioning (the thickies).
A life is also lost if you crash into too many buildings or other cars - an energy bar slowly decreases every time you have an argument with a hard object.
Once all the red cars are out of the way you can chase Mr Angelo in his very distinctive yellow vehicle, and with him out of the way you can move onto the next city (level).
COMING OR GOING
My first impressions of Miami Chase weren't good. The difficulty level has been set way too high. I found it amazingly tough to control the car, and when I finally managed it, both ends of the vehicle look so similar I didn't know whether I was coming or going (story of my life).
The cop cars are the biggest pain as they hassle you continually. You would have thought that an F-40 is pretty unforgettable but they stop you so often it just gets silly.
In short, even though the game is graphically pretty good, the dratted police cars quickly crush any impulse to continue play.
MARK ... 45%
'Oh, I see. Miami Chase is impersonating All Points Bulletin. (Shame it forgot about the great jokes and smooth graphics, really.) The layout of the scrolling city streets is pretty plain but the way the cars move around it is unbelievable. If you turn a corner, the car is rotates through 45 degrees twice. The most annoying thing is that if you accidentally bump into any of the buildings or cars - and it's almost impossible not to - a cop car pulls you over to the side of the road and apologises for doing so! It wouldn't be so bad but half the time it the dratted cop that pushed you into the building in the first place!'
NICK … 40%
Could have been good but has too many aggravating elements.
It's all dark! Oh, it's the radar.
'Ello, 'ello, 'ello, who do we think we are then, sir, Sterling bleedin' Moss?
A multiple pile-up caused by a cop car containing members of the police.