In the past we had caveman, in the present we have commuter man, and in the future, according to this game from ATLANTIS, we have moron (plausible enough, I think). You find yourself on a moron spaceship orbiting 250 miles above, errr, wherever you are. But never mind where you are it's what you've got to do which is important find the three pillars of time (past, present, future) secreted about the spaceship by the devious moron captain. Some very useful abbreviations are described on the cover including G for GET, T for TAKE, and 0 for OPEN commands so useful I found myself still trying to use them on the next adventure reviewed, to no avail!
Oh, so that's where you are, in a teleport in the good old UK. You collect the torch and spacesuit, which is automatically worn (checked by looking up your inventory with I). Since you are told the teleport button is marked 'press', and no other direction is allowed, it seems the only way forward is to press it. 'Everything is dark' is the result but getting the right words to get the torch on isn't half a struggle. The unfriendliness here took my mind back to the days when you just slung any old illogical couplings at an adventure until it gave in and let you through. The pictures which accompany the first few frames are rudimentary, but passable for £1.99.
Onto the flight deck and we have a situation so simple it's either a parody of stuffy adventures or a parody of pathetic adventures (a bit like 'Ever Decreasing Circles ' on N which is so sparse and deadpan it borders on being funny). Here we have a red button, a yellow lorry, I mean button, a green button, a blue button, and of course a lever. Two of these buttons turn force fields off, one normally turns the lights on (but the fuse is missing) and another starts the ship's self destruct sequence. I'll leave you to find out which causes what to happen!
The lever, naturally enough, is stuck. There is indeed yet another option at this stage; pressing the teleport button once more, but this simply has you ending the game without any of the pillars of time and a score of zero percent.
Shortly, a moron appears, welcomes you aboard the ship and offers the assistance of his colleagues who'll help whenever they can. So, it's just the captain who's a villain; a reassuring thought this. Unfortunately, there are other pasties willing to make up for the moron's hospitality like the wolves who make a meal of you unless you deal with them within a very few moves. But wait a minute, perhaps the moron crew aren't so friendly. They later ask you to stay for lunch and then nearly forget to tell you that you may be on the menu!
In the limited time I had to play this game I never quite got on top of the wolves. There is a great deal of spaceship to explore in the few moves the wolves allow you. There are the upper, middle and lower transit bays, and the recreational area at the very bottom. On this lowest level I tried locking myself variously in the steel telephone box and the wolves ' cage itself without success, the wolves always miraculously getting to me to munch my bones to calcium biscuits. Even the laser rifle and grenade from the armoury on the lower transit level didn't provide much help I only succeeded in blowing myself up with the grenade! Still it's nice for a change to leave a review with a puzzle to whet the player's appetite.
For £1.99 Moron has some nice touches and I really enjoyed playing it.
: not difficultGraphics
: pleasantInput facility
: QuillGeneral Rating:
On the bridge of the good ship MORON - now which button should you avoid pressing?