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1986
Arcade: Maze
£7.99
English
ZX Spectrum 48K
Multiple schemes

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84
Tommy Nash
Chris Bourne

How would you feel if you were made out of Synthifleshâ„¢? Just one step up on the evolutionary scale from the inside of a Big Mac. Any moment you could be sliced up and have a limp bit of lettuce slapped on top of you. Well that's just how Solo the Syntheman feels. And that's why he wants to escape from the mechlabs of Wardlock, his creator.

Contrary to what you might think, even a synthetic man has feelings. When he saw that baby stranded in the factory (probably left by his mother on a tour. Tsk!) well, he just had to bring him along. Nejo, for that is the puckered little peanut's name, is but a toddler. He needs his mommy. He needs his bottle. He needs ka-ka and pee-pee (Yeurch!) In fact, he's pretty hopeless, but being the big synthisofty that he is, Solo can't ditch the poor snotty wretch. So as well as wrestling Wardlock's minions, he must root out bottles of cow'juice and assorted relief for Nejo. I dunno!

Solo needs infinite patience to solve the tyke's little problems... and so will you! Every time you fail to repel one of Big W's henchblobs and he bumps into you, you are flung, as if you were attached by synthielastic, back through the maze to your starting point. Phew. Tres infuriating, non? And you snap back time after time after time... This constant failure to get anywhere should make it more addictive, eh? No, it flippin' well doesn't! After pinging back from whence you came for the fortieth or fiftieth time, your enthusiasm for getting baby Nejo home and dry is as dampened as his nappy. As for Solo's ineffectual armourments, well... if you've ever tried subduing big wobbly mutant opticians' nightmares with a ping pong ball gun, you'll know what I mean when I snort "forget it".

If it was a whisker easier to play, this could be a good arcade adventure. But it's not, making it just an infuriating chore of a game

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