Rolf Harris' Cartoon Time was one of the best shows ever to grace the nations television sets. Instead of just watching cartoons run into one another, there was the added attraction of our Rolf warbling and drawing the acest doodles ever. In just three seconds he could get the very essence of Bugs Bunnyness onto paper.
Wile E Coyote and Road Runner were Rolf Harris staples and, as with most cartoons, we loved it 'cos it was violent. Wile E Coyote spends his entire life trying to catch Road Runner who, in turn, spends his time eluding the nasty canine and making him run into walls and fall off of cliffs. It obviously didn't hurt him, 'cos after a few seconds of star-gazing our Wile was up and running. In fact Wile was, like all those cartoon nasties, completely indestructible. No matter how many times Tom got knocked senseless by dustbin lids and broom-wielding maids, no mailer how often Sylvester swings for Tweety-pie and slams into the window you know that they're going to live to face another day
Unfortunately Hi Tec's Road Runner And Wile E Coyote hasn't got half the thrills of the original cartoon. You can't really do much to Wile E, except make him fall off of a cliff. This is definitely the best bit of the game. As you hop just out of Wile E's reach, he goes tumbling down a massive abyss. Whoo!
There are two levels, well there are eight actually but four of them are pretty much the same and the other four are, erm, very similar. The first of these levels has you pecking away at little piles of bird-seed, avoiding sandworms and bombs, collecting apples, banging into power-ups and, most importantly of all, avoiding Mr Coyote who whizzes about like a very whizzy thing indeed.
You're up against a clock, so all you've got to do is survive the level and peck up as much birdseed as you can. This comes in dead handy in the next level, so concentrate all your efforts on getting all the seed in, rather than going for the bonuses. My copy had a very strange bug on it which allowed old Road Runner to jump up to the top right-hand corner of the screen and sit pretty 'til the clock finished ticking away. As long as I didn't move, I was okay. As bugs go, it was pretty handy but none of the other copies around seem to be faulty. Ho hum, perhaps it was a special treat, just for little old me.
The second part of the game sees you running along with Wile E in hot pursuit. Basically, you just have to keep on running, jump up now and then to grab an apple or jump over the various unidentifiable obstacles that are strewn across the path. This is where all that birdseed comes in handy, you should have built up enough energy to outrun Wile E. If you haven't, well - you're dead meat. (Well, 'til the next game anyway.) The next six levels are basically the same again, except the graphics change ever so slightly and it gets harder.
WILE WE'RE AT IT...
The colour is pretty crappy throughout 'cos the blues and yellows are so muted. What's worse are the appalling graphics. They just sink into the background and refuse to stand up and be counted. I was sitting inches from the screen and I still couldn't make out what was going on. I ended up pecking worms instead of birdseed and jumping over apples rather than bombs. It's also pretty difficult, pop your head up and Wile E will come zooming over. Pow!
There are only two moves to master in Road Runner And Wile E Coyote and thats along and up. Apart from the fact that I found it quite difficult to see anything, there isn't really a anything massively wrong with this game. Thing is, there isn't anything outstandingly good about it either. It's just a plain run along and collect-em-up.
I was disappointed. I expected a bit more from the Looney Tunes licence. I'm not asking for much, but I'd like to be able to tell the difference between a worm and a pile of birdseed. Cherryade and a pair of bison are much more fun. (Bear up, bison!)
Samey and disappointing collect-'em-up with extremely obscure graphics.
Coyotes are known as cased wolves. This is because when they make fur coats out of coyotes, the wearer's likely to look like a grey coffin.
FAST THINGS THAT I HAVE KNOWN
Pot Noodles - probably one of this century's greatest inventions. They take about four minutes and contain plenty of nutritious value and only a few calones.Porsche - I've never actually met a Porsche but I've heard that they're really fast.Bankrobbers - probably the fastest nonathletes in the world. If these chaps formed an olympic running team they'd thrash Daley Thompson, Steve Cram and Ben Jonson - all in one go.Noses - can be as fast as bankrobbers if you catch them in the right mood.Sweetcorn - it goes straight through you.
You're the bird running over the gorge and that's Wile coming up behind you. This bit's quite exciting, actually.
What on earth is going on here? Is it a sand-storm? Is it an earthquake? No, it's Wile E and Road Runner and a couple of wormy things.
Wile E's on a rocket, so keep your head down Road Runner! If you look closely at the grey bit, you might be able to see a worm. Jump!