Right, I'm fed up with Football managers getting all the attention. I mean, they're not exactly the most glamorous bunch of blokes in the world, are they? I think somebody should write a computer journalist sim instead.
Well okay, so might not sound very exciting - but then what's so thrilling about managing a football team? And whoever thought of turning it into a computer game in the first place, eh? (Steady on, Lind. Ed) Blimming daft.
Anyway, the game, First Division Manager, like a trillion others, has one of those desk screens with a computer, filing cabinet, door, telephone and radio. The radio's a nice little touch at first (but it soon becomes incredibly annoying), and the filing cabinet's good too, even if the bottom drawer's stuck. All the info in the top drawer and on your database (if used correctly) will pull your team into the first division. so keep checking players records, keep your bank manager sweet, keep your players fit and have a good chat with your scout now and then. As long as you keep a tight rein on everything then you should get to the top. And that's the management side basically - and would you believe it's actually fast, easy and (dare I say it?) fun!
So where's the catch? Well, it's the arcade bit - it's crap. There I was, having great fun playing about with my icons, opening and closing drawers, picking up players for nothing, hanging up on my bank manager and turning the radio on and off. Then, I had to go and play a match. And it was awful! Absolutely terrible. Whilst loads of little ants moved very jerkily about the screen, the names of the players and what they were doing appeared beneath. This went on for ages. Eventually I let my mind wander and ended up staring at the trees outside. Then I lost the match, got very annoyed and went back to my desk. Through no fault of my own the morale of my wonderful team was at an all-time low. I put my head in my hands and sobbed uncontrollably. Then I turned the radio off.
Fairly good management sequences but the whole thing's ruined by the appalling arcade bit.
Texas Homecare never had it so good.