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Orpheus Ltd
Arcade: Action
ZX Spectrum 48K

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Simon Forrester
Chris Bourne

Spy vs Spy? That's MAD magazine, isn't it? Great. Fab. Load of ready-made jokes at MAD's expense, (Rubs hands.) (Er, I've already used 'em for the review of Spy vs Spy 3. Ed) Damn.

OK. Two blokes, one island. Two blokes (or spies) each want to build a missile, but with only one set of bits. So, the spies fight, hence the game being called Spy vs Spy, and the comic strip being so funny. It's a classic comedy scenario.

The spies have many ways of really hurting each other in a non-lethal comicky sort of way. They use coconut bombs, land mines, snares, and pitfalls against each other, all to no avail.

Y'see, it's a two player game. Now you may think that, what with the fast pace and all, you don't have time to watch the other player.

Er. no.

What with the spies pondering over each and every step, you have all the time in the worid to watch the other player, the Film On Four, and your neighbour cutting the grass, before you get a chance to go wrong.

When the two spies meet on the same screen, things do speed up a little as they then proceed to run around, using their swords to deal nasty, stinging cuts. But it's not really enough to make the game playable.

Oh. and then there's the presentation. Haven't mentioned that, have I? Imagine taking a beautiful painting of a desert island and, while it's still not quite dry, dropping white and black rocks on it. We're talking colour clash splasherama here. Ugly.

So, it's a potentially fun game that's slightly marred by very crap design. On top of that are the weedy sonics and those hideous graphics, so altogether I'd give it a lethal injection and argue it was a mercy killing.

Uppers: It's based very closely on Spy vs Spy which was great. Downers: The speed of a hobbled donkey, the graphics of a crap game and the playability of an episode of Praise Be. It's very crap.


Screenshot Text

Resorting to the dreaded 'standing around and doing nothing' ploy, the two spies quickly made an end of the game's playability. (Satire.)

Hello, and welcome to 'How to Dance Like a Groocy Bavarian.' Today we'll be looking at thigh-slapping.