A little bird (or should I say a little tortoise) has just told me all about this new and utterly brilliant game by our bestest friends, Zeppelin.
My little green Tortoise-type chum sure is the main man in this exciting game, and a devil of a good job he does too. This little hero is the cutest thing since Freddie Savage and he's here to save the cheese population. No, I'm not going crazy and yes I did say the cheese population. Are you sitting comfortably? Then I'll begin.
Right, firstly let me make it quite clear - were not talking about the Teenage Mutant Hero Turtles here because they're probably in the Bahamas for a week getting a nice shell tan. This turtle isn't a turtle at all. He's, wait for it... T'ai Chi Tortoise. Hurrah!
The sad thing is, there's an evil little rat mixed up in all this as well. He's a real mean looking dude called Vincent Ratatouille, and his plan is to capture all of the world's tasty cheeses. So what? Wee once he collect all of the cheeses in the whole universe he can rule the world. There'll be no more cheesey pizzas or anything. What will the Turtles do when they return from their summer vacation to be greeted by bowls of lettuce leaves instead of take-away pizza?
This is where our faithful green friend comes in, TCT has to go down into the sewers where that nasty geezer Vince lives. Gulp! He's got to find all the stolen cheese and get that darned rat as well. Only then can he save the world and prove what a nice chap he is.
Let's face it, this tortoise isn't the hardest of people, but he's brave and uses his limited skills to defeat the many nasty looking bugs and round headed creatures that lurk in the dark depths of the sewers. Or will he? I reckon he looks a little bit too innocent to kill anyone. Time will tell, as my Great Auntie Hilda says.
Not only are there mean looking looking bugs flying around, there are also some not-very-friendly-looking tortoise electrocuters to add to the excitement. If you actually survive the sewers and the meanies lurking in them, you get a chance to meet the evil cheese fiend himself. You can then try to grab all of the yummy cheeses with one tortoisey hand and duff him up with the other.
The graphics look a bit home made to me. But the game isn't made any worse for this. Its all a wee bit crap and very sweet. Who need big racing-car sprites and stuff? (That's what I say).
The game is also pretty large. I got bogged down in it, so I think it's a bit too tough. Some of the puzzles will annoy you, and it's a bit daunting to think that there are loads of places you haven't even got ot yet. Yes, it's a bit tough indeed.
If you can't get past a screen, it's rather depressing to sit there and wonder why not. For some of these puzzles you'll need you to have collected stuff from a few screens ago. Too confusing for me, I'm afraid. But luckily there are also some extra fun little bits to make the game that more exciting. There's some ladder climbing, some swimming and lots of jumping around. You can even take a quick peep at the moon and see if it's really made of inter-galactic cheese after all. What fun! (For you, maybe. Ed)
So, T'ai Chi Tortoise is, in my opinion, pretty superbalicious. In fact it's so good that it's almost a Megagame. Play it, have fun and remember, the future of cheese is in your hands, so grab your shell and get out there!
Play this game and feel strangely protective towards cheese for the rest of your life.
That's the hero tortoise down at the bottom of the screen, dressed in a lovely shade of green. Above him are a googlemonster and, to the right a gate from which a horse has just bolted... honest!
Crivens! There's three crazed asterisks after the T'Chai. Not to mention a fern and an umbrella monster!
Just one small platform from death and only three Marmite sandwiches left. Banzai!
Consulting his Ordnance Survey LandRanger Map No.341, Torty decides that he took a wrong turn at the Yucka plant and consults an unhappy looking piece of Edam cheese about life, the universe and Brillo pads.