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Mikro-Gen Ltd
1986
Arcade: Adventure
£9.95
English
ZX Spectrum 48K/128K
Multiple schemes (see individual downloads)

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36,37
Rachael Smith
Chris Bourne

FINE YOUNG CANNIBALS

Prepare for a taste of Paradise - only trouble is the Weeks family is on the menu. But rather than make a right Wally of yourself, read Rachael Smith's review of Three Weeks in Paradise, the new feast from Mikro-Gen. Dinner is served!

Every year thousands of wallies go on their hollies, but there's only one Wally and neither he nor the mussis nor even Herbert, the nipper, come within that notorious 18-30 age range. So Wally, being wally, decided on a pleasure cruise... on the HMS Pedalo!

Eventually the gormless mariner was washed up on a desert island, and when the natives said come to dinner he was thrilled. But he didn't realise that the first course was to be Boiled Baby followed by Sautéed Spouse. And as Wilma's always been a game old bird they were keeping her hanging around first. Her parting cry was to call her hubbie a stupid pudding, but that was the last thing he wanted to be - and he was already hot-footing it into the jungle.

And that's where this episode in the Wally saga begins. You're helping him rescue his family and stopping him getting... sorry, becoming somebody's just desserts. You just have the man (man?) himself to control this time, but other features make the game an advance.

Instead of just swopping objects you can now choose to pick up and drop things as well as having to use them in the right places. That means Rambo-wally's rescue mission calls for even more ingenuity. There's also a nice selection of puzzles, from the fairly obvious to the maddeningly difficult, but they all depend on acute lateral thinking and horrible puns.

In return there's less of the arcade element this time with fewer things to dodge. But the thing I liked best about Three Weeks was its humour. There's a speech bubble Ouch as he rubs his behind. And look out too for the scrolling message line at the bottom of the screen that conveys some screamingly cryptic clues, as well as the family's cries of help.

And finally fed up with reviewers' constant grumbles about attribute problems, Mikro-Gen has included the option of switching off Wally's colouring. A word too for the music - it's great, and it adds a lot to the humour. A great game that just goes to show that even if he's too old for Club 18-30, Wally's not past it yet.

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Eek - an 'orrible arachnid and it's stopping me reaching that skeleton key.

I hope that's a bottle of bubbly because these fatal floaters are driving me up the wall.

Brrr - it's cold as the North Pole - oh. To feel a hole lot better suck it and see.

I may be as thick as two short planks but I know I'll find a use for deux sticks if I scout around.

Well, well, well - I'm wishing for an easy passage so I'd better jump down below.

Choosing left, right or going into this building is such a headache I've got a pain in my temple.

Here I am, out on a limb again. Eggsactly how I got here I'm not saying.

Now what does this mean? I'll need to be a sharp cookie to solve this clue. Maybe I should axe.

Oh no - paw Herberts stock in the pot and I'd be lion if I said it wasn't a thorny problem.

I knew the night had a thousand eyes but this is blinking odd.

Pity this chopper is blunt. I'd try the bees but hive an idea they're unfriendly buzzers.

I started here but I'd be bats not to look for Wilma. If I spied 'er perhaps we could go bowling.

Old faithful - I'd be flushed with success if I reached the water.

Out of my way you big turkey or I'll knock the stuffing out of you.

Service moves at a snail's pace here, and it's deadly. Must be a French restaurant.

I'll have my fill of the empty billy can because if that billy can, so can Wally.

Can't stop to rest my ash here evem though it looks grate. Maybe it will help me to {missing} another link in the chain.

I have a sinking feeling that those sands are quick. Running won't help - the sand will swallow unwary suckers.

See you later alligator. The way they've discarded Wilma's bad would make you cry.

Here I am among the fishes and they could make me another popeyed corpse in Davy Jones' locker if I'm not careful.

I can see horses and what's this - a plug for another game?

Poor Wilma - all strung up and I'll have to bow to that native who's guarding here if I'm to get her down.

This is a rocky place to be but if you're feeling boulder it's a short cut if you don't croak first.

I'll look before I leap here. Those Can Nibblers are a real pain in the grass.

If this isn't obvious, the solution may be in the post.

Perhaps my burden needs lightning. Maybe this fellow will run hotfoot to help me.

I won't duck out of wearing flip flops when I go to the beach.