I remember rugby, That was that awful sport, played exclusively in the freezing winter, where the large boys with body-hair got to squash your face into goo and got a pat on the back from the sportsmaster for their efforts. Meanwhile, the girls got to play sedate games of netball. Give me table tennis anyday.
I mean come-on, I reckon that if horse racing is the sport of kings then rugby must be the sport of bash-faced bruisers who can put away 15 pints of lager in a single sitting. Anyway those nasty chaps who were so 'good' at jumping up and down on each other and kicking a peculiar shaped ball carried on playing when they grew up - and even earned money for it. Hence something called professional rugby.
World class rugby is pretty much the saem as World class football, except that the Brazilians and the Cameroons are really crap at it, whereas the New Zealanders and the Australians (who are dreadful at footy) are brilliant. What a weird game!
CALL THAT FRIENDLY?
Audiogenic's World Class Rugby is a faithful representation of the competition which'll be played out for real by the time you lot read this. You can either play a single 'friendly' game, a league game or a proper world cup tournament. The friendly game option (contradiction in terms or what!) enables you to have a quick kick about, the league option operates in the same way as the football league and the cup option is a knock out tournament.
Practically everything can be configured the way you like it. Your team can wear different coloured funky strips, the matches can be played for however long you like (as long as it's between two and 40 minutes), the pitch can be any colour and the skill level can range between zero and six.
If you're unhappy with the team you can actually play a game. Hurrah! This starts off with the chaps jogging out onto the field and then booting the ball up-field. The strength of the kick is controlled by a groovy kickometer which also enables you to control direction.
With the game underway, you can now being to canter upfield and attempt to get hold of the ball. Yep, this is where the fun really starts! The player nearest the ball has a large arrow over his head, move him towards the ball and he can pick it up (as long as it's just lying on the floor). But (but!), if one of your opponents has got the ball, you can tackle him by pressing fire.
There are lots of set pieces to any game. Depending on how nimble and quick you are, you can pass the ball down-wing to your fastest players and get a few tries. Then there are scrums. (Now, children, these are very dangerous and shouldn't be tried at home!) Both sides get into a huddle and stare fiercely at each other for a few tense seconds. The ball is then thrown in and 13 beefy guys attempt to kick the ball over to their own side. At this point you can either run, or try and get possession of the ball by waggling the joystick as quickly as possible.
Get a try and you can go for a conversion (which is a bit like a goal!) by booting the ball through the posts. If you're successful, you'll get some lovely points and a large pat on the back from your manager.
There's also a radar which shows you where your other team members are (probably whining in agony in a foot of mud), so you can pass the ball to your own chaps rather than those ugly bods from the other side.
And finally, if your last move was a particularly spectacular piece of play then you can view it again on the action replay. If it was absolutely stonkingly groovily funkadelic than you can save it to tape to view over and over again, or at least 'til your mum gets bored senseless.
WCR is a tremendous blast what with all those lovely reversible jerseys jostling each other for attention! And there's plenty of lasting action to keep away those dreadful muddy face pavilion blues. Right, I'm off to buy myself a gum shield and a pair of stout boots with huge studs. Well, you don't think I'm silly enough to try the real thing, do you? I had enough of that at school. Hurrah!
Thoroughly groovy rough and tumble game which doesn't give you scabs on your knees.
I came by this New Zealand side cheap, they were on this market stall in Hackney and I didn't have enough for the Ken Dodd piccie!
Nah! We don't want equal skills. Wouldn't want those Aussie chaps winning a game. Cheat, who said cheat?
When have you ever heard of a football match being friendly? I mean come on. Not even tiddly wink matches are friendly these days!
What a silly chap. He's gone and tackled completely the wrong player. Meanwhile number 12 can canter down the middle of the field! Or can he? Nope, tackled again and time for a scrum. Heave ho. Pass it here, then hurrah, number 8 scores a try. Hurrah!
That large red box is in fact a radar, not an international smartie convention on the pitch.