This wrestling lark seems to have really got out of hand. It used to be that fat bloke Big Daddy battling his enemy, Giant Haystacks, but nowadays the men involved are bigger, louder and probably smellier than ever before. And in WWF you get to play a large man with an unpleasant moustache called Hulk Hogan. No, I mean the man is called Hulk Hogan - the moustache hasn't got a name.
If you've never heard of it, there's this thing called the World Wrestling Federation. It's basically a load of massive blokes who meet up at interesting venues to shake hands politely, slam each others heads on the floor, spit at the audience and avoid the grannies' handbags.
You can choose to play either Hulk Hogan, the British Bulldog or a Chinese blokie (called, er, Bim Bam Bom or something).Strength-wise they're all about about equal but they've got different fighting skills, so you can tell them apart. Once you've chosen your big guy it's time to go up against the first opponent, a guy called Mr Perfect. Before you climb into the ring with this dweeb, the two of you have a slanging match. He says things like, "I m perfect and you're not, so I'm almost certain to win." Okay, Mr Perfect we'll see about that!
LOOK AT MY STAMP COLLETION
With all the boring preliminaries out of the way, the two dudes climb into the ring and the fight begins. You can either punch or drop-kick your opponent, grapple with him or charge him (anything up to £50 if he's got a bankers card, ha ha).
if you punch or kick him his energy is reduced by smallish amounts. The problem is that it's pretty hard to hit him, like all good wrestlers he's able to dodge you. If you're really good, you might be able to knock him to the floor as well. This is where it starts getting really exciting, 'cos now you can stamp on him or lie on top of him and get a submission.
Grappling's good too, it involves a bit of incredibly fast joystick waggling. If you're faster than him you end up chucking the guy to the floor, sitting on his head and getting another submission (unless he wriggles out). Charging is the best though. You bounce off the ropes and run towards your fat enemy at a frightening speed, you then smash into him and send him flying out of the ring. If you're quick, you can jump out of the ring as well and continue beating him up right in front of the judges (who cant do anything because you're about six times as big as them).
And this is why WWF is such fun. Instead of just wrestling, it's a beat-em-up with loads of violent moves which have different body-flattening effects. When the baddies try the same moves on you, there are several ways to get out of them (the easiest thing to do is run to the other side of the ring, but you'll have to find the dangerous ones out by experience. Practise makes perfect and all that.
WHAT? NO JERKS?
The graphics in WWF are really slick. Considering that there are so many moves and, er, positions, the game is cheeringly jerk-free. Unless you count Hulk as a jerkm which you wouldn't 'cos you're probably smaller than him. It's all made even more exciting (yes, even more exciting!) by great thumping and grunting sound effects. This means you can get a rather large amount of satisfaction from leaping into the air and bringing your feet squarely down on someone's ribs.
Yep, WWF is a pretty classy fight-game. The wrestling angle sets it apart from any number of martial arts combat games, and the variety of throws and wrestling moves makes it more interesting than your averge kick,-punch-somersault-kick-beat-'em-up.
The idea of getting your opponent onto the floor and fixing him in a hold (which involves hitting the fire button really quickly to stop him escaping) is pretty stonking too.
As if all that wasn't enough guess what it's also got? Yes, you've hit the nail on the head! A completely wonderful and superb two-player option. I'll put my reputation on the line here (what reputation? Ed) and say that its the best two player game that's been seen on any Speccy fighting game. It's quick, accurate and when you're playing you can tickle the person playing next to you at critical moments. Hurrah!
This is it, grapple fans! If you're a fan of wrestling (or fighting in general), you'll have a ball with WWF.
Oooer. I think I've just killed that dude. I'd better make good my escape and hope that nobody saw me do it.
How dare you say that my XR3i is a rusting heap of cats' droppings! Take this punch right on the nose, young man! (That's him told!)
Right, you bully! Outside now! We'll settle this little dispute outside the ring like two gentlemen in a bout of Queensbury Rules fisticuffs. I'll just get my gun.