Oo-er! Spooky! Many eons ago there lived an evil squire. HA!HA!HA! Who practised black magic. HA!HA!HA! And all kinds of spooky things. HA!HA!HA! Until one day he was put to death by his long suffering villagers. HA! HA! ULP! And that was the end of that.
Or so it should have been. 'Cept Codemasters hired his faithful manservant to put him all back together again, and now there's one big, black Death Demon roaming the land causing havoc, death and destruction. Oh no!
But someone has to stop him, and the local neighbourhood watch scheme have nominated you HA!HA!HA! So off you trot to collect seven special items, in a certain special order so you can complete the special magic spell which will get rid of the evil squire once and for all. Thrilling stuff, yeah? Well, no. Tediously, terribly, totally, tackily boring. Give it a miss.