Punch! Kick! Strike repeatedly! Gouge! (Okay Linda, okay! The Pastels are quite a good band really). Oh hello everyone. Heres a review of Quattro Fighters. (Ouch).
THE GUARDIAN ANGEL
Fresh from his triumphant interstellar tour in "One Man And His Quiff," Freddy Hardest comes down to Earth with a bump in this horizontally-scrolling beat-'em-up. The plot is typically simple - clean up the Manhattan docklands armed only with an old coat. What's more, after years of battling finger-twisting controls it's refreshing to find a game that can be played perfectly well using just two fighting moves. The action is clearly-presented and manically busy, with villains attacking from both directions at once. This leads to some tense bouts of fisticuffs as you attempt to deal with minor baddies before the loony with the large, blunt object creeps up from behind. Topped off with lots of levels and a good variety of opponents, this is a pleasingly playable little number.
SAS COMBAT SIMULATOR
Tipped to sweep the board at the annual Worst Title And Cover Artwork awards, this game is a surprisingly good Commando clone. Each excitingly plump level contains both vertically- and horizontally-scrolling sections, with a short beat-'em-up bit tacked on the end. There are enemies and power-ups galore, and although the graphics are occasionally dodgy (at one point you filch a jeep which looks remarkably like a very badly drawn jeep), the shockingly addictive gameplay shines out like a freshly brushed smile. Scribble out the inlay, and you've got a winner.
MIG 29 SOVIET FIGHTER
From Russia with lurve comes this innovative slant on Afterburner. Cleverly picking up on that oh-so-obvious omission from the original, the programmers of MIG 29 have included some gameplay. Hurrah! Power-ups, limited ammo and ridiculously numerous ground defences all add up to far more than an impressive display of fast graphics. Alas, the game is destined to be known as no more than A Brave Attempt - even with a bit of gameplay bunged in, the basic Afterburner idea just doesn't work. Any game that can be played for ages simply by circling round the screen doesn't, I'm sorry to say. cut the mustard.
A merry litHe shoot-'em-up that finds you puttering about the skies in a bi plane. Programmers Big Red (already famous for tweaking Dizzy into Seymour have twanged the braces of convention once more - the idea is to collect what can only be described as a bomb, and then, clenching it between your teeth, crash into the enemy stronghold. Cheery graphics help things bob along, and with everything from jet fighters to men wearing rocket packs in the air, the game is no pushover. Like Cavemania, a very Game-'n'-Watchish sort of thing - bright and breezy, instantly forgettable and great fun.
Not bad' MIG 29 lets the side down rather, but overall this barg is a bargain. Lucky coincidence, eh?
And suddenly, just as Jack began to breathe again, out of a clear blue sky dived Anneka Rice with all guns blazing.
I mean, come on, that's never a jeep. It looks more like a manhole cover, or a chimney pot. Or a casserole. Or something.